Hittings On

There have been a couple of realizations that I have come to in my life.

1-I got hit on a lot more before I went to BYU.

2-Most of the guys that blatantly hit on me have been Polynesian. I am definitely okay with that.

Now, due to recent developments in what you may call my lack of love-life, I would just like to compile a list of some of the best pick-up lines or phrases and interactions that have come up. Some of these are better without context.

"Oh, yeah, because of your boooody!'

"You played really well. It was like your magic fingers flying across the keyboard."

"You're 17, right?"

He looks me up and down. Looks me up and down again. "Heeey!"

"This is a YSA dance. The purpose of YSA is to get to know each other."

"Woah! The power!"

"Your voice could be a navigation system."

"You look glamorous. Like a model on a magazine from the 70s."

"Why so smiley? You just have a zest for life? That's attractive."

Understanding

I have moments in my life when I realize that there are people that truly get me. Whether it's the floral and polka-dot bake ware I find at Ross or the chap hop that gets me through the workday.

I recently had one of those moments when I got this in an e-mail.

"I was at Costco today and saw this cute little old lady - dressed in a British style complete with bowler hat and scarf…and I thought "Suzanna would like her style"…and then I noticed that in her cart she had three HUGE bottles of Absolut Vodka and I thought…"Suzanna would like her style"…"

Daylight Reveries

I've always described my sub-conscious as being "on crack." Whether it's dreams of my sister stealing a modified Hummer garbage truck or me leaving my Spanish mob boss fiance for Mark Madsen, my synapses clearly fire in strangely entertaining ways.

Now I'm starting to wonder about my waking mind. Is it really sane for me to legitimately seek out jobs in England? Am I silly for wanting to geek out every day of my ordinary working life? Why do I suddenly start haunting monster.co.uk when I just bought my tickets for my August UK adventure? Since when do I think in so many questions rather than my usual declarative statements?

Maybe I should just go back to the original pipe dream. Work for Google. Free meals, free snacks, on-site masseuse. (Yes, I actually spelled that correctly on the first try.) But England, I hear it calling. It entices and serenades at the same time. It soothes the rejection e-mails with distance, but promises more opportunities all the while.

With my luck, I'll end up back in Utah within a year...

Dating Refresher

Another round of dating help for the needy.

Adapted History

I had promised to be witty and write something comedic, but my creative juices just refused to flow, so instead, I bring you this.

Musings on facebook:

1. At what point do you feel the need to delete wall posts where you asked someone out? After the romance when you've both moved on? After said person moves away? After you start dating someone else? After you get married? Is it expected or are you simply being obsessive?

2. At what point does untagging yourself in pictures become excessive? When you delete only the awkward pictures of you from high school that that one friend thought just had to be shared? When you delete those pictures of your "chubby" phase in college? When you specifically go through and delete all pictures involving you and certain individuals so that other certain individuals don't see those images and question you on them? When you've been tagged in 30 pictures of an album, but only 3 tags remain in place?

3. At what point is it acceptable to add an ex as a friend? Is it always awkward? Did they have to be the one to break it off? If you weren't technically dating, but rather significantly flirting do the same restrictions apply? Does periodically checking said ex's profile to see if they have dropped out of school/are involved with someone/still living with their parents count as stalking?

The only answers I have been able to come up with are the following--

G-mail holds the only evidence of a certain Texan asking me out through the medium of wall posts.

Some people seem to have a couple months of conveniently located gaps in their profiles.

What was I thinking when I was a teenager? Can I legitimately blame all that on boredom?