Linguistic Treasures

Sometimes I really worry about the sanity/sociopathic tendencies of linguists and their sample sentences.

Merely some of the evidence from this semester follows.

"The sentence We threw the squirrels some peanuts evokes the idea of squirrels willingly accepting their peanuts. The example could not be used to describe the activity of throwing peanuts at dead squirrels."

"Frank sneezed his cat soaking wet."

"(10)     There was cat all over the road.

The tractor was driven by a 16 year old boy.

John is best friends with Eddie Murphy.

           

The first example, which describes the unfortunate result of a car accident involving a feline, is probably the easiest to analyze." 


"* Staying behind the counter, the bank robbers shot their way through the crowd."

"Mary accidentally murdered Jane [although she had meant to murder Sue; although she had only meant to knock her unconscious]."

"Thus, while (21) below does not imply that Jane will benefit from imbibing the martini, it does presuppose that she is expected to drink the martini.

(21) Jack poured Jane an arsenic-laced martini."

"(24) Bill gave Chris a kick."

"Bob received a slap/kick/kiss/smile from Jo."

"That is, we would need a special sense of bludgeon, 'to move by bludgeoning,' a special sense of maul, 'to move by mauling,' and so forth. "

"Sally drank her way through a case of vodka."

"He joked her way into bed. Then both the subject and the object are in bed....well, they both would be...." followed by comments of being embarrassed.

Natural Candids

Welcome to some of the scenery I've been immersed in.

These are brought to you by my trusty phone. 

A Sunday walk to church in Glasgow.

A canopy of twinkle lights? Yes, please!

The view from my common room kitchen.

Oh, you know. More of the same.

A little stroll in Glasgow.

Nature in the middle of Glasgow.

A loch.

It's amazing what you can see on a bus.

Somewhere near Stirling.

Another loch.

A stream yo!

The waterfall that feeds that stream.

Can you guess what this is? Wrong. It's a lake. 

Two bridges, even though one is called the Forth bridge. The one on the left was built in 1964 and is being replaced. The one on the right was built in 1890 and is still standing strong.

A low view of the castle in the early morning.

Edinburgh in the sunlight.

The view outside of Costco.

Okay, correction, it's really the view outside of Ikea. But Ikea is right next to Costco.

Making Friends

Since I'm far away from home, I was a little nervous about being able to meet those that I might be able to truly bond with. I worried about finding those I might be able to really enjoy.

Not anymore.

I had the best experience of Scotland so far. I got to meet some highland coos!!!!!

As a little background. A highland coo, is just a cow. But they're awesome. They're big, have two coats of fur, and awesome horns. 

And without further ado, I present Katrina. 

Isn't she a beauty?

My roommate's boyfriend understood the importance of the moment and tried to join in as much as possible.

He was not able to embrace the proper amount of excitement as exhibited below.

  

Here are some notes of interest about these magnificent beasts.

1. They will scratch their necks on anything, be it pole fencing or barbed wire.

2. They let out a weird low moo that sounds more like a growl.

3. They are apparently unaware of the damage they are capable of.

The have been known to break jaws and knock out teeth with those awesome horns.

4. Their fur is not soft. It is wiry and coarse, but surprisingly clean.

5. They have huge faces.

6. And long tongues.

7. They have huge bodies and short little legs that make them hard to blow over cliffs. True story, yo.

8.Their spit is surprisingly not that gross on the ew scale. 

A mastiff is way worse.

I can only hope to rejoin her one day.

Educated Self-deprecation

Going back to school has opened up my eyes about a few things. Mostly, you know you're a linguistic nerd when...

1. You want to rewatch Star Wars to analyze Yoda's speech patterns.
2. You fangirl over professors because they know ALL THE GRAMMAR!
3. You also fangirl over The Hobbit's introduction page and most anything J.R.R. Tolkien.
4. You get a kick out of reverse-transcribing IPA texts.
5. You start to think in sample sentences. Especially ones with the verb kill. (Linguists are all quite homicidal it seems.)
6. You laugh over Old English jokes years later.
7. You get angry when your Phonology professor doesn't recognize your accent in transcriptions.
8. You have several instances a day where you practice your vowels and their locations. Ahhhhhhhh. Ooooh. Ehhhhhh.
9. You finally stop, well, almost stop giggling whenever your professor says PP for prepositional phrase. (Yes, I do have the humor of a 13-year-old boy.)
10. You over-analyze bad fake accents and identify the allophonic mistakes.
11. You want to inflict physical violence on the annoying undergrad that is attempting to argue phonetic spelling with the grammar professor when the student obviously doesn't know a diphthong when he sees one.

12. You have to resist going into detailed explanations of the history English whenever anyone complains about specific spelling or pronunciation instances they have problems with.

13. You want to defend your dialect rather than your country.

14. You are more annoyed with people that insist there is a "correct" way of saying things than those that have divergent speech patterns.
15. You have a preferred theory and approach to grammar. (Construction grammar for the win!)
16. Your professor offers you an early Christmas treat by explaining the historical development of ish.
17. You understand and chuckle over the comment, "One man's micro-construction is another man's schema."

Life as a Scottie

Here are some of the things I've picked up since I've been here.

-The ground floor is always the 0 floor; therefore, the 1st floor is what would be the 2nd floor in the US.

-You wind up taking the stairs a lot when you're embarrassed you got off the "lift" early.

-Pumping = farting.

-Cab drivers will yell at you if they think you took their right of way, but will still call you "madam" while yelling at you.

-Irradiated milk is awesome. I knew this from Spain, but it's come back to me.

-You can get cereal by the kilogram.

-It's kind of weird getting a flash of underwear from a guy in a kilt.

-Crumpets can make the world go round.

-Goldfish are known as Finz here.

-Electric kettles are the bees knees!! Especially when you have a cold.

-Yes, the chocolate is amazing.

-It's not bobbing for apples. It's dooking for apples.

-An assessment is a school assignment on which you get a mark not a grade.

-Cobblestones = death. Some may know about my "delicate" ankles. Otherwise known as I'll trip on any slightly uneven surfaces and sometimes completely flat surfaces because my ankles like to give out on me. Add to that my bad balance and my life is an adventure just walking. No imagine no concrete. Just cobblestones. Sure, some are big and square and mostly flat, but that doesn't mean they have grip when it rains or won't kill you if you attempt to wear heels. 

-I find it odd seeing all the muscle-men at the gym....who are ghostly white. Maybe It's just that I'm now the minority because I have a tan. But....wow. I didn't realize just how white you can be. 

-Fake tans are EVERYWHERE.

I love the interwebs....

Especially when it brings me treasures like this.

I know. For some this is blasphemy. But I laughed until I cried. And am still laughing some more.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Here are some of the things I've realized I already miss from the good ole' U. S. of A.

-Proper pillows. The Brits just don't understand real head and neck support.

-Bedding that doesn't cost an arm and a leg and isn't all synthetic. You never realize the beauty of cotton until you're in constant humidity.

-Half-sizes in shoes. Seriously. They hate me here. I can't find any shoe that's a 7 1/2 in US sizing that isn't over 30 pound. My bargain shopping heart has had to deal with a couple of heart attacks already.

-Ross.

-Target.

- Tumble dryers. Three words. Lint. Humidity. Baggy. I miss the shrinking effect on my pants.

-Carne Asada.

-Chairs that aren't so easy to tip over.

-Real plush furniture.

-Keyboards that have the @ symbol on the 2 key. I've typed way too many suzanna.kincaid"gmail.com already.

-Cuddles and princess tea parties.

-Booty shaking music at dances.
-Hugs. I'm a huggy person. I just need some lovin.
-Pets.
-My pantry. It's kind of annoying to have to completely start from scratch. I miss my spices. My staple cans of tomato sauce and black beans. Not to mention easy-access baking supplies.
-Other assorted mushy stuff like family and what-not.

Requiem for the Past

I know that there are some people who will say that I never had a real college experience because of my undergrad at BYU. 

And you know what? I'd agree with them.

The most experimentation I did was seeing how long into fall semester I could wear sandals.

Instead of embracing my feminism and shedding the shackles of male oppression, I simply didn't shave my legs in winter out of laziness and a love of tights.

My Friday nights consisted of sugar-induced highs and mood-altering movies.

I perfected my wiles and honed my seduction skills through baking.

My Monday hangover was from staying up too late trying to flirt with that one guy at ward prayer.

The embarrassing photos that found their way to facebook were a result of FHE and "ice breaker" activities.

So, yes. My college experience was quite different.  But boy oh boy am I being thrown into the so-called real college culture here.

Want to know my biggest complaint?

Of course you do.

It's not that everyone gets to know each other by going out for drinks. It's not trying to pick out accents with swear words as punctuation. And it's not having to duck, slide, and alter my course altogether to try and avoid second-hand smoke.

No.

It's the lack of social and cultural acceptance of public napping.

I long for the days of claiming the couches in the JFSB. I relish my memories of curling up under the display case in the Benson building. And I fondly reminisce over resourcefully creating a nest.

But alas, we can never go back...

(Yes, I slept, and probably drooled, in all those locations; and quite a few more.)

Scholastic Endeavors

There has been some interest among the masses about my schooling and all that. So, let us explore all of that information.

I am at the University of Edinburgh. I'm working on getting my MSc in English Language. There are 7 people in my program including me. 5 people from China. 1 guy from Spain. And me. That's right. I'm the only native English speaker in an English Language program. 

No, my school doesn't look like Hogwarts. Some parts of the school are really cool, like this. 

That's the administration building. Oh, well, it also has the law library and what-have-you. 

This is my building.

What you don't see is this little gem on the side. No, I have idea why in the world it is there. 

All of my classes are in two classrooms. It's a flashback to undergrad and the cold, dark (aka fluorescent lighting) basements of the JFSB. Which leads to interesting moments when I'm taken off-guard by the professor talking with an accent. 

And what are my classes you ask? Well, allow me to enlighten you.

I have three required classes. 

Intro to Phonology
-This class is going to be fun, but man, I'm rusty on my phonetics. It's almost embarrassing just how much I've forgotten from BYU. And the teacher is a delicate little man from Manchester.

Intro to Language Research
-This is one I definitely wouldn't really want to take if I wasn't required too. I guess it's a good thing for us to learn about how we should go about dissertations and research projects and get some idea of what we might want to do. But.....kinda boring.

Intro to Syntax
-This is the most touchy-feely syntax class I have ever had. We're talking about grammar rules, what words come where and whatnot. But the first day of class the teacher was going on and on about what constitutes as grammar for some and the personal developments of language blah blah blah. Most of this is in direct contrast to my grammar class, and I just want to say, "Hey, lady (My professor's last name is Heycock. Yes, I did giggle like a pubescent boy over that), can we draw some sentence trees already?" No idea what I'm talking about? See below.

In addition to the required classes, I have two that I selected to take. I was trying to find any way to connect my classes to editing, so I wound up with the following.

English Grammar: A cognitive approach

Holy moly, I almost had a meltdown after the first reading for this class. It's been almost five years since I last had a grammar class. Here I was thinking I'd get to look into more about sentence structure and nerdy arrangements. Nope. I got dropped right into a new approach to language study and the most jargonated journal article ever! Thankfully, I asked the other students and they all had suffered because of the article as well. Then when the teacher asked what we thought of it.... I may have given a bit of a snort of derision. My professor looked at me and smiled, saying "Yeah, it's a bit of a tough read." VALIDATION!!!

Scots and Scottish English
We haven't really gotten into the meat of this topic yet. I have a feeling I'm definitely going to like it though. My program director is the professor, and he's a pretty cool dude that grew up in Ireland, studied languages, and then transplanted to Scotland to teach about Scottish linguistic history and developments. I do notice some problems, though. Mostly when the professor plays sound clips and asks us to think about what we heard and the type of accent or dialect that was shown. Some English students or Scottish students will comment on how "I thought it was interesting how the first time he said 'ey-eet' and the second time he said 'ay-*hiss gh sound*t'" and all I think is, "It sounded foreign."

Oh, well. I think I'm catching onto the curve. I haven't burst into tears awkwardly yet. And I've only resorted to frosted flakes as comfort food. I'd say that's pretty good so far!

A Month of Experience

Sometimes you have to hack your own phone to unlock it. 

American flags are pretty big design pieces here. (Yes, I bought a pair)

Smoking is really gross. No, like really, really gross.

Skeleton keys make you feel pretty dang awesome.

And classy.

Plaid is not plaid. It's Tartan.

Tartan is EVERYWHERE.

My school building has a rhinoceros on it. 

Check it out.

When it's raining walk as far away from the curb as possible.

Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and turn on the heat in September.

Glaswegians are incredibly hard to understand.

No one knows of the Kincaids. 

They don't do have sizes with shoes.

Primark is one of my new happy places.

Random California city shirts are rather popular.

The University of Edinburgh is an incredibly international school. 

This.

Is not the same as this.

Jaywalking could be considered an art/sport.

I feel pretty awesome living here.

Timeline of a Life Change

January 4th- A certain friend mentions applying to grad programs in Scotland. The thought percolates and I start thinking about how cool it sounds. I start thinking about how cool it would be for her to attend. I start thinking about how cool it would be for me to visit. I start thinking about how cool it would be for me to attend. I start thinking about applying. I begin to look into applying.

January 5th- I begin to e-mail program directors, students, advisers; anyone that can give me extra information.

January 6th- I mention to my mother that I'm considering applying.

January 15th- I decide to officially apply and ask for a couple letters of recommendation. Cannot sleep for two days.

January 17th- Have first mini-meltdown.

January 23rd- I officially apply.

February 2nd- All letters of recommendation and paperwork are in.

February 4th- All letters are processed and attached to application.

February 3rd-20th- I stalk the application website daily and try to see if there is any progress. I attempt to not look at housing. I attempt to not try and stalk down the local church information for Edinburgh. I attempt to not tell everyone and anyone about applying in case I don't get in.

February 18th-20th- I go home to attempt to regroup. Convince the parents face-to-face that this seems like a good plan. I seem to be mostly successful.

February 21st- I finally cave and e-mail the student rep I had communicated with before to see how long it took her to hear back. She said the average time should be about a month. I decide I have at least one more week to wait. Maybe two. I tell myself this will be okay.

February 22nd- I get laid off. Have second mini-meltdown.

February 26th- I stay up all night for online international student information sessions. I ask the admissions team when I should hear back. Anne tells me at 7:25 my application is with the selector and I should hear back soon.

February 27th- 7:43 AM- I get the e-mail. I have an unconditional offer to attend the University of Edinburgh's Master's of English Linguistics Program.


BOOM BABY!!

Waiting

I suck at patience. Honestly. Truly. I am horrible.

I like to plan things out. Imagine the possibilities. Think about what might be, where I might go, and what I might do. Since I can't do those right now, I've been trying to keep myself distracted.

Here's some of the high points.


This.

This.
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And this.

Decisions

Things in my life have just taken place. A thought occurred. It kept coming up. It felt right. I did something about it.

I thought skipping a grade would be good and on the way home from piano lessons asked my mom to look into it. A week later it was official.

I wanted to go to BYU and applied there and only there. I didn't even take the SAT. Sounds like poor planning for a girl from California, but when I got the letter saying I was accepted it was anticlimactic. My dad was more excited than I was; maybe because the thought never occurred to me it wouldn't happen.

I had a Spanish class where a professor came in to tell us about a study abroad to Spain. It sounded fun. About two weeks later I interviewed with him and told my parents I wanted to go. Six months later, I was living in Spain.

I graduated BYU and moved home; no idea what I was going to do. Called my sister and asked how she felt about an unemployed roommate. Three weeks after graduating I was buying a mattress and transferring my life to Palo Alto before heading back to Southern California to pack.

Life has always just chugged along. High tides, low tides. Placid bits in between. That's how it's always been. I've never realized before how bad I am at long-term planning.

Never before have I thought something sounded like a fun plan, followed by taking the idea really seriously, to just questions myself over it later. Never before have I had to research into a question and find that there are multiple answers that I have to decide between. Never before have I had to weigh my emotions against what was right for me. Never before have I had to make decisions when in the middle, needing more answers, and having to find them as I go.

Being an adult is overrated. But you get to do some fun stuff....