Online Creeping.... I mean, Dating - Part 1

For my inaugural blog post, I thought I'd write about something that is near and dear to most of us. Dating. Some are married, some are single, but no matter what state of life we're in, we've all had to deal with it. The stress of finding someone who sparks your interest, catching their attention, trying to flirt without embarrassing yourself, but still being witty/cute/entertaining/funny/intelligent/clear enough to keep their attention. It's like a gauntlet that most of us voluntarily sign up for--repeatedly.

In comes online dating. It seems like it can clear up so many of the issues. You simply scroll through profiles till you find one that catches your eye. All that's left is to read through their attempts to cram all those previous issues for flirting into a couple thousand characters on their profile, and poof! Instant romance! Your little fingers are sure to be anxiously hovering over the keyboard, anticipating your witty/clever/flirty/non-desperate words to entice that person to check out your profile too. Even if they don't, who cares? It's online, impersonal, and there's plenty more, right?

Enter LDSMingle and similar sites that exist for the lonely Mormons. It's all there. Mormons, Mormons, and more Mormons looking for love, just like you! They even have fancy little settings to pick if you are there for friends, dating, serious relationships, or marriage. Your whole first date is taken care of with one properly filled-out profile and you never have to explain the whole no alcohol/ no sex policy. Score!

However, a properly filled-out profile leads to love-notes, such as this.

Having read through every word of your long introduction that quite frankly has taken away 90 seconds of my life that i actually wont get back no matter how much i pray to whichever god takes my fancy right now, i feel it necessary to at least listen to the one phrase that might actually be worth in your unnneccessary filled, adjective spattered essay which references sarcasm.

Of course, this whole internet dating thing is meant for saying how nice a guy I am and how much of a good match and cry cry cry, insert-boring-reasons-for-dating-here. but people are clearly what they write and you obviously have girl balls.

And me writing this, I am supposed to tell you how bad it is to be jaded and why can't people be nice? but reading through and feeling my self worth and my ego be boosted from your cynicism and narcisstic tendency of an existence which justifies my arrogance and ability to be better than everyone just makes MY day a whole lot better.

And I know, you and your whole 'jaded' perspective apparently is meant to filter or screen or whatever the hell you meant it to do and blah blah with the rest of that sentence but its certainly given me the incentive of providing you with the male perspective of having read whatever it was that you wrote by sharing what i like to call Michael's Moments -

Moment # 1 - If I have to read one more internet dating profile that uses a smiley face and says to a guy reading it, 'its so hard to come up with something', I should be allowed to kill them.

Moment # 2 - If you took all guys off LDSMingle, it would be known as the greatest internet dating site ever.

And moment # 3 - The only way to be respected as a man, nay, AS A PERSON, is to show people who you are, which leads me to say, nice work.

So yes, by the time you reach this point in the email and wondering just why the hell I bothered writing in this and thinking what a darn good read and there is someone else more cynical than you, I bring you back to the fact that there are some people who really just dont care about things like you being cynical and pretending to be jaded and sore and mean.

yes I know, that wasn't what you thought you were going to hear, but pssst, here's the dirty secret, some people just like you for you and honest to god, whether you are a woo hoo hot babe man eater or a complete insanely jaded woman who has no feelings for idiots and moronic fools and guys who cant meet standards, there is still the one person who thinks that that's what dating online was all about in being able to verbally torture someone so that you knew whether they were genuine or not.

and so i think about now would be a good time to wrap this up in the fact that i do actually get some me time tonight as my life seems to consist of having that time removed. things included in being removed from the me-time list include trying to having a shower on my own without my phone ringing, watching a movie at home and having to listen to my neighbours next door go at it with their version of pasty white passionless sex, and spending time with my nephews who think joining me for my afternoon dump qualifies as family time too.

but when it comes down to it, how refreshing it is to see a girl online who isn't scared to be herself. :)

Has he piqued your interest?